Of rituals and the Indian in America

On sunday, at my cousin's place. My cousin is settled here in the US and have lived here for 8 years. There were a bunch of families whom she had invited and who have also been living here for quite a few years. In midst of conversations that ranged from families n kids and festivals, we brushed on the topic of "rituals" According to dictionary.com, the definition of ritual means "The prescribed order of a religious ceremony" The way, you have been taught to perform certain tasks and duties. It may not be the right way to perform it, but then this was what was imbibed into you and you follow it, unquestioningly. So this lady 1 narrates an incident that occured at her work place. There was this guy who recently got married and as the way-it-is, he bought back some "sweets" from his wedding to distribute amongst his colleagues. We all do that! Bring back sweets whenever we go to India. Though, the junta here cooly get away by addressing "Kaju Katli" as "Some-sweet-candy":) So, this guy had bought some "burfi" and that burfi, did undergo loads of wear and tear before it made its way! So these things got stuck to each other during transit and the guy bought them in the same "Sweet box" which he had got from India. So this container had all the stains of ghee sticking around it and when he offered the sweets to his American colleagues, they smirked and the worst part is, they had to take it, as it is rude not to! They took the sweet and when none was looking, they kindly threw it in the trash. Lady 2 had another tale to narrate. In her office, there is an Indian colleague who works with her. So this gentleman, has some Puja at home almost once a week. He comes to work with "Tika" on his forehead and also brings along some "prasad". We have been taught to respect these rituals, and accept the "prasad"in your palm by extending your right hand. We do not think if its unhygeinic or whether your hands will get messy due to the ghee-laden prasad. Nevertheless, we have a hard time explaining these things to the Americans here, who do not eat even a cookie without a paper towel. So, when this gentleman offered them prasad and made them eat it the way we do, he was in receipt of some wierd glances. He eventually stopped bringing it to work! Such are the ways! In both the instances, the intention of the people who are offering is the same and holy, but according to me, when someone is skeptical about something, you should change the way you present things. It does not mean, you are bending rituals, but you are presenting your culture in front of -people who do not know the significance of it. For people, who still think that in India, we have elephants hanging around on the streets and our trees have monkeys all around them, many of them still do not know about all these rituals. If the guy # 1 had presented the "sweets" in a decent manner, they would not only have relished it but it would have saved the Indian community from embarassment. Same goes with the guy # 2 who could have easily carried some paper towels along with him! When you live in a foreign country, there are so many things that others are not aware of. You cannot do the same things that you have been doing all your life. Coz here, you are not in midst of your people, you are amongst people who are learning about you, your country and culture. You do not want to project a wrong image about it. Consider the example of this American born Indian child ( I refuse to use the term ABCD) at the temple.There is a small banana tree which is considered to be auspicious, around which they have placed a note saying “Please do not place shoes over here”. On one of the instances, this child who is almost 10 years old, removes his shoes right there. It was fine, if the kid was unassisted, but his parents were accompanying him. I mean, how ridiculous can that be. Given the same scenario, these Americans who also visit our temple on a regular basis, remove the shoes where they are supposed to. To me this is complete mockery of our tradition. I do not want to sound like someone who gives sermon on all these issues, but these things do bother me. Especially, when you are one of the members of the large Indian sample space in a foreign country and by doing things which do not portray a proper image of us, I cannot stand that!