Powered by Blogger

Monday, December 03, 2007

Interwined Relationships

Richard Bach, once said "Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over"

What exactly is this control like?

And precisely whom and what things in life can one control?


I have always been pretty much amazed at what Bach always quotes, for e.g this one particular cliched quote that pretty much everyone has heard once in their life time "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.”

Do we always do this or are we capable of doing this?


For example: If we cannot control what we feel or how we feel for a certain someone. What is the role of 'committments' in our lives?

Lets consider the various kinds of relationship that one comes across:- All these are purely my views and how I view them through my glasses:)

1. The "dating" couple: Couple who are 'exploring' the possibility of being together. The first few days/weeks/months when every thing is hunky dory. When a ringing phone bell/door bells sends butterflies in the stomach. When every moment of together is like *fairytale* [Haha, so what I have been told].

2. The 'seeing-each-other' couple: Am serious, I have heard all these terms before. Although, I dont know what exactly the difference is between the above mentioned phase and this phase. But, an American friend of mine told me that the difference is that when you are 'seeing' someone you are know seeing him/her exclusively (*rolls my eyes*). Ya! maybe but I consrue this as a phase when you know that there might be a possibility of something serious developing between the people involved.

3. The "serious" couple- Now, here's a phase when you have been with that same person for a while. When security takes over a whole lot of insecurities. Couple who love spending time with each other and who also *start* discussing *marriage*;)..Haha most of them, in my opinion go back to the Stage 1 at this point:))

4. The 'Committed' couple- A truly "happy" couple, who have been together for a long time. Have been through several ups and downs in life, weathered storms together and are together for a reason. For whom the fairy tale romance has ended and who finally start believing that life and relationships go beyond wine, champaign, candle-light dinners and also start to find faults in each other;)

5. The "ever-after" couple - This I believe is the culmination of a long standing romance. No matter how much together you are with someone. No matter how long a duration you have romanced with someone. If it doesn't reach this step, it probably was never meant to be. I may sound quite narrow minded in my thinking here. People say that marriage is not everything. But, I certainly am of the opinion that, relationships come with a responsibility. A feeling of belongingness. To be with someone you can annoy for the rest of your life:D And to come back to a home and a person who promises to be there with you through thick n thin:) After all committments are everything in life!!!

Every relationship evolves. People change for good. People change for better. Situations are never the same and the way we view relationships also change with the passage of time.

Read this quote somewhere
"Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away"!







Comments on "Interwined Relationships"

 

Blogger Shantanu said ... (10:56 PM) : 

I guess the difference between the seeing each other and dating couple is, the later one are sure , they have made up their minds that they are dating, the earlier one are still deciding upon what they should do, they are just seeing, maybe they should start dating or directly graduate to committed!!

Shantanu

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (11:06 PM) : 

Been a while since I dropped by, just saying hello:) Read that you've moved...well hope all is well!

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (8:12 PM) : 

A very well-written post- covers the entire stages of that special relationship which is like a shawl woven from fine, delicate strands of silk. And for this gossamer garment to last a lifetime for both, it is essential to guard each and every strand!!!

'He bandhe reshamaache'!!

Also, loved the last quote!!! so true!! :)

 

Blogger Rays Of Sun said ... (11:20 AM) : 

Err! I did not receive the comments posted here on my Gmail, so I assumed none posted a message:O
What a pleasant surprise to see 3 comments:):):)

//Shantanu
Aha!!Graduation in love life:D

//Duhita,
Long time girl:) Yeah I moved..for good or for worse..we got to wait see:)
Hows life?

//Wolf
:-)

 

Blogger Ujwal said ... (9:56 PM) : 

the last quote makes sense....well the entire post probably does too...:))

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (10:32 PM) : 

:p not like i knew where you were previously:o hahahha life is ok i guess....im visiting the cold US of A on work and am hating all this ice!:(

 

Blogger vi said ... (8:13 PM) : 

:) (and this is a knowing smile ;)
Enjoy your vacation :)

 

Blogger Rays Of Sun said ... (8:16 PM) : 

#Ujax,
Haha..I am sure you just read the quote:P:P

#Duhita,
Oye, I thought you have been here several times..:O Anyway, I was in Omaha, Nebraska earlier..
Oh so you visiting Uncle Sam:) trust me the first Christmas in US is pretty nice..Just enjoy and forget the cold:)

#Vi,
Lolz..thats a trademark Vi;)

 

Blogger Ujwal said ... (1:37 PM) : 

hey listen...u got it right..i had read the first quote...but today i read the entire post....but i had a question...

say, one is in a relationship..and assuming that, how wud he know what kind of relationship he is in? are thr any more precise pointers?

hehe...jk....

 

Blogger Rays Of Sun said ... (11:55 PM) : 

#Ujwal,
Lolz..are you seriously kidding..??I guess not:P
if no,I can suggest something;)

 

Blogger Ujwal said ... (11:17 AM) : 

yeah suggestions.....rightttt!
see what i meant basically is that...in the various types u discussed in the post...u missed one type....and i think its called...."Confusion"..whr in you dont know whr u are heading towards or are u even heading towards or away from something.....its a kind which is intertwined in all the first 4 kinds u talk about...and hopefully not in the 5th..:)....hehehe

i sound like a guru now....anyway, i will leave relationship guru-ing to better people like u....

mi bass...kees padtoy tuzya post cha....hehehehehe...:D

 

Blogger Khushi said ... (12:18 AM) : 

I agree!!!

PS: Nicely written :)

 

So you were saying....