A mental mould to fit people

{It has nothing to do with my previous posts. But, off late, I have experienced a lot of "typecasting"amongst people. All this is purely my experience and not meant to be targetted at anyone in general} P.S:-Contrary to what this post reflects, I am not angry or pissed or anything. Just hoping that people do not have any pre conceived notions about anything:)] As you all know, I am from Bombay. So what??Just like some people live in Hyderabad or Amritsar or any other city. Agreed, that people are usually known by their mentality. Like, people from Mumbai are generally considered to be "open minded and adaptable" [I have been told this many times, and have heard it a zillion times], but in a city where majority of nation's population is condensed, you find people who are not only "not open minded but extremely narrow minded"as compared to a person in any other town in India. Likewise, women from Bombay are considered to be "fast, party lovers, ambitious and anything but homely".People might debate that this is not true. But, believe me I have heard this about US. Well, life in Mumbai is fast but on what basis do people generalize or typecast others. Despite living in Mumbai, I have never been to discotheques. Its not that I never wanted to, but at that time, I was focused and was not thinking about anything beyond my career. So does that make me "oh-not-so-mumbaiyya"? Amongst women who go to professional colleges and who work from 6:00 AM until past mid night, there are girls who do not make a career for themselves. There are an assortment of people anywhere you go. You dont generalize people by making claims that "people from one city are necessarily that way". Girls from villages need not be "docile and naive"and there are naive and docile girls in metropolitan cities too. That was the case in India. Here in the West and people's perception about "Uncle Sam": There are people who think that Americans marry and have pre-nuptial agreements for "when"they get divorced, and not "if"they get divorced. Agreed that the divorce rates are high here, but does that mean some people do not trust the institution of marriage here? Or is it that people in India do not get divorced? Its because, people here refuse to take crap from their spouses. You abuse your wife and you will be presented with divorce papers. We Indians believe in keeping up relationships. Many wives prefer to be beaten up by their spouses and living in a bad marriage only coz divorcing a husband is still not accepted in Indian society. Does it mean that Amroos do not have a heart or do not treasure relationships?? Read on:- My Professor in Shreveport has been with his wife since the age of 14. They have been together for more than 35 years now. He always told me "Some people find their souldmates at the age of 14 and some at the age of 24. Since, I have known what Love is, she is the only one whom I have ever loved". Another stereotype: "Amroos are meat eaters. They cant think beyond beef and pork" Aah! the same professors both the daughters are vegetarians! They had a Thanksgiving party sans turkey but with vegeterian pizza. (American Born Confused Desi) and food: So here this friend of mine who has done her UG in USA has invited all of us for dinner. She had Samosas and Alu parathas as part of the meal. So this smart Indian dude says "you make samosas" or you "ordered them". She cooly took a part of the dough and made a triangle and filled it with the filling. This guy was shocked! So, you KNOW to make samosas, despite being an ABCD? OK! now in which dictionary is it written that Indian girls raised here or spent their growing up years in the US cannot cook?? That girl started cooking since she was 16 or 17 and I never cooked until I came here at the age of 22. To this date, I cannot make samosas. I also know of few girls who have spent their life in India and who came here and who still live on Maggi and frozen food. So why, do people make such claims? Who decides, how a particular class of people are supposed to behave? They are all resultant of our beliefs and a set of standards that we use in order to compare people. Yet another: "For people here, USA is the world. Any other country is "rest of the world" Really?? Go get your basics right before you did that. My personal experience again goes back to another Irish professor of mine who has lived in the US for 45 years now. He is an American citizen now. He is someone who took the recipe for "Alu gobi" from me, and who makes the same dish better than I do". He is aware of every other spice, orders it from the web and stocks it too. There might be many Indians who do not stock "asafoetida" (hing in hindi) in their kitchen, but my professor even knows in which dish you need to add that spice to. They do know what India is and what it is famous for. 3 out of 10 people might still consider India to be a third world country but the remaining 7 do know about "Indian food, clothes, Bollywood, Bangalore, Mumbai, Taj Mahal" are. This same professor of mine has watched "Lagaan" to understand what is the hype about "Cricket". Following stereotypes is one thing and blindly making judgements is another thing. You have to think outside the "box" in order to benefit out of diverse culture. Just harping about people, city and how bad a country is, are not signs of an educated person. Education is meant for people to live in harmony with others, in growing out of differences and thinking beyond "color"! Talking of which! The only colors that one can identify a person is with "black" and "White" First of all they are just skin colors that does not reflect your true self. The very first time that I entered this country and spent one year of my life is "Louisiana". A state rich in terms of Afro-American history. Exactly! Afro-American is THE word. Nor "Black, Kallu, Shyam bhai". It irks me when I hear people using such terms for one who is not even responsible for the skin color he has got. They do not scare you. They are one amongst us. They do normal jobs like we do, they also get degrees and earn a living. The other day a person and me were having a discussion. When he quipped, "Gorya mulee saglya changlya distat" [Meaning:All "white"girls look good"] I detest using the term white for a person. "Caucasian"is THE word. Why only a skin colors determines "beauty"of a person?? Isnt beauty a cumulative word given to "features" that includes eyes, nose and the face TOO?? Enter Marriage "Market" the demand is for fair and educated wife! When you yourself ask for a "fair" girl do you really think you are "Educated"?? Much emphasis is laid on the skin tone than any other quality that a girl possesses. Why, cant a dusky girl make a good wife?? Of course! it depends on each individual as to how exactly he wants to define "wife":) To me it signifies "Narrow minded mentality" and "hypocrisy". People who claim to be educated lots and who still judge a person with respect to his color and who are broad minded to that level that "watching hollywood movies and drinking alcohol suggests sophistication" Wish people could judge a commoner based on what lies within rather than the exterior! Just going abroad and getting yourself a degree does not mean you are educated. Remember, someone somewhere is judging you based on what you say.