Please press ENTER

Out of many keys on the keyboard, the ENTER key is probably the most useful key. I might be sounding very abstract over here but since its my blog, I think none other than me would be able to understand the thought process behind the words. Have you ever experienced Hitting the ENTER key to an email that was not meant for the addressee in the "To" section?? Hitting ENTER and sending off an email that you wish you never had sent? You hit ENTER and find a visibly excited you gushing with joy after submmiting an online article and completing a deadline?? You hit ENTER while running a statistics and realize that your entire seminar might be torn apart by that one result you got which sits coolly on the 42nd slide out of 45 slides of the seminar?? Guess that one ENTER key is the key to my happiness right now. Yes! sometimes life brings you to an important threshold where its only one thing that sums up everything! P.S:- Sorry I was unable to reply to the comments on my previous section. Will get back soon!

I am getting the shivers!

So just one more responsibility to take care of and I will be a free bird ..OK! for a while;) Have this huge seminar to give. My research presentation. Irony of life: Just when you need things to work for you, it doesn't. Things on which you bank on ditch you at the last moment. You want to solve problems and some new problem arises. Sheesh!! One week to go and not even a single slide ready:O Experiments are on. You know your stuff but then its research, things get interwined to such an extent that you almost feel like a spider stuck in a cobweb! Anyways, me and public speaking dont go well. Any one to one convo, I can beat you to that:D Telephonic convo..anyday but talking in front of room full of prying eyes who are ready to pounce on one small mistake..aah! not a good idea.. Icing on the cake: My Rajdhani Express talking speed:( During the first seminar that I ever presented in the US, I finished 55 slides in shocking 35 minutes straight!! Every person who attended the seminar had a comment that said "You had a lot to say. Would have been nice if you would have paced your talk well" One prof said "Americans dont understand when you speak fast. Go slow. One word at each time. Pause." OK! In my second seminar, I managed to maintain a good flow by sipping water after every 10 minutes. One glimpse at the watch. Sip water. Again talk. It worked! But, its been more than a year since I gave a talk and I am scared! In fact each time I look at my data, I get goosebumps! My heart starts pounding and I get cold.. Damn! Public speaking is an art and I know I suck:(

All in good spirit

A conversation: Me and one of my friends Adam were having a banter. This is an excerpt of that convo which said it all. He commented over something that I said, Me: Oh! so you think whatever I spoke made sense, huh? Him: Yeah! I think so. You talk sense Me: Glad that you agree:)) Him: Never mind! Don't women take pride in thinking that they talk sense? Me: OK! so give me one word that sums up the entire women clan Him: COMPLICATED! Me:Oh! Adam, you DO know so much about women! To which two female secretaries added "Its a wise answer, Adam. It will keep you happy for the rest of your life" I thought it was wise of me to just walk away;) Agreed, women are complicated. But, who likes an easy life, anyways:P

It is as evanescent as this!

Have you experienced something really ecstasic in life? Something that was making you feel that your life is worthwhile. Be it an event, an accomplishment, a friend, a partner or anything that makes you believe that "Alright, these things can happen. Aisa bhi hota hai"! When you are almost flowing with the tune and refuse to go and check your notes. Living for the moment and celebrating something called as Life! Something that breathes an air of freshness. It is almost equivalent to this phenomenon that I call as "Happiness Bubble" Like in this pic, the child is so happy to see those tiny soap bubbles in the air. As a child, I was fascinated with this tiny and circular bubbles that floated freely in the air! You want to hold it in your hands, feel it in your palms. You want to keep it forever! So much is the magic of these little bubbles that you believe what you see. They come in all sizes. Some tiny and ephemeral and some larger and maybe last for a longer duration. In the end, irresepective of shape and size, they are evanescent. They DISAPPEAR. Thats when the "Happiness bubble breaks" It happens in a time even when you are busy relishing the sight it produced few seconds back! Its afterall a bubble. It has no solid foundation. Most of the times, its a figment of our perception, when we become more ambitious and expect that the bubble lasts just a little longer!

Hamaree Pathshala

I am taking a class in Statistics after a gap of one year! Needless to say it is plain boring and I hate it, especially coz it is in the evening twice a week. So this was a Yahoo conversation between a friend of mine and me few days back. Me: (1/18/2006 3:34:48 PM): mujhe class ko nahi jaana Friend: (1/18/2006 3:34:54 PM): shut up and go Friend (1/18/2006 3:35:05 PM): behave like a big girl Me; (1/18/2006 3:35:41 PM): jaana to hoga.. Me (1/18/2006 3:35:43 PM): :(( Friend (1/18/2006 3:35:57 PM): call me after u get done This is my state of mind almost everytime I go to the class! This stats lesson is the second of the two parts we are required to take. Things were very different in both these parts! Apart from the Professor even the students are not the same. On the first day of my class, I entered a class full of 5 students!! Thats all! Not one familiar face! Out of the 6 students including myself, there are three girls and two guys and one another guy.[I have a reason why I am mentioning that guy as 'one another guy"] Read on.. The two guys are plain boring. Have you seen guys who have a frown on their face? whose face is as plain as a starched shirt! I dint bother to smile at them after that! So well then another "person"walked inside the class, with hair that reached the back, curly and thick! and a face so cute! and wearing a nice heavy jacket and sat comfortably on the chair tying the hair with a rubberband! I started staring at the person continuously. Quite unusual for me to do that! I was trying to place him. Are isko pehle kaheen dekha hai types! and I think the person noticed it and was quick to retort, "Hi! I was the guy who sat in the first bench last year. Only thing is I have grown my hair long" I was embarrased! Next, there is this girl who moved from Santacruz, California! Well, again quite unusual of me but I ran into a misunderstanding with her. We decided to meet up for working on an assignment at 6:30 AM on one of the days! Well, I know it was bad on my part..but being a late night person..I overslept only to find out that I got up at 7:30 AM. Worse, I did not inform her or apologize to her. 2 days later, in the class..she blasted out at me. Well, I have a huge problem with going and confronting to somebody, so kept my mouth shut and called her back later! That was that. So right now, my stats class is as boring as can be. I miss that 65 year old army veteran who took the class with me last year! He retired from military and wanted to become a teacher. It was a time well spent interacting with someone his age. Someone who has been in a noble profession. Has done his bit for the Country, has accomplished something in life. A satisfied life. But, someone who still has aspirations. Someone who still relates to a person atleast 40 years younger! They make great conversationalists! I think we all need a friend who is so experienced in life! The other was a Russian friend of mine. The guy was amazing! Wore a proper mink coat and drove a BMW Z6 convertible and who gave me a lift from my school to that campus..and it was amazing to get off from a swanky car:). Funny, he used to narrate all unbelievable stories that dealt with how he dated a beauty queen in Russia! For every help that I offered with the assignment, he treated me to "Baklawa" Coming from that environment, this one is so unconducible:( I miss those folks!! After all a classroom is more about classmates than about the class! The Dev Anand song going on the background is reflective of this thought: Jeevan ke safar mein rahee, milte hain bichad jaaneko, aur de jaate hain yaadein tanhayee mein tadpaneko! P.S:Whoa! finally managed to post this one after a month!! and believe me the feeling about this class still remains unchanged:(

Life is all about Moments!

Guys! am here..alive and kicking! Sorry I have been in my own world for the past couple of days and I have realized that my world-inside aint that bad:) Suddenly, life brings you to a point where in the happenings just dont cease to amaze you. You end up doing things that you never thought you would do and on the other side, you end up not doing things that you have always done. For example: In my life, I usually have enough room to accomodate a little of everything. Blogs, friends, emails, phones, coffee and of course work squeezed in between. But, off late..blog, friends and phones have drastically reduced. If I have the time, I dont have the enthu and if I do have the enthu wherein tons of thoughts are scrambled across the brain, I am unable to pen it down. Words somehow dont do justice to whats going on deeper. For, words have no meaning, there's no road ahead! I always believe that you might share a lot about you with someone..a friend, a confidante! but there are certain special things going on in your life that talking about it diminutes its significance! At times when that supersitious side of your personality surfaces.Talking about it makes you feel that it might not last forever. When you share 99% of yourself with someone, there's this 0.5% that will always go with you to the grave, and the other 0.5% is something thats a private haven within yourself where there is a huge "NO ENTRY"sign and an area where even YOU are an intruder. These are just few totally fragmented thoughts on a lazy sunday afternoon. Where ROS is left awed at something and she has departed to her own secret world, previously unknown to her too:O P.S:- Those who know me, will probably make sense of this post, others dont worry..I am not sad or emotional while am writing this post! but maybe so happy that finally I have started believing in few things that I previously did not. Maybe its as ephemeral as a tiny dew drop, but its as glistening as that dew drop:) Hell, after all isnt life supposed to about moments that take your breath away!!

I am a kid...so what..I know my basics!

The age 3 is I think an age of discovery for toddlers. I think, I share a special bond with kids of this age! My Aryan and my niece here. They both add a lot of joy in my life! I have spent an entire week with my niece here and needless to say she rocks! Few lessons she has taught me: Its OK to be wild at times: Her dad had gone somewhere for a while and she did not get to see many ppl around at that time. When she saw me, she jumped up and down, acted crazy and wierd. It was an amazing site to see a kid being so excited after seeing someone. [Isnt it exciting to just let your hair down for a while?] No matter how hard you work, you can take it easy on friday nights: She sleeps early every night. But somehow, she can sense its friday night and there she demands to watch "Charlie's Chocolate Factory" with the remote in her hand:O [No matter how pathetic your week was. Isnt friday night supposed to mean "An end to routine"] You want, what you want: I happened to bring Tiramisu and needless to say, I can finish it all up on my own. She insisted "Mommie, but I want a lollipop" Mommie says "But, this is nice..just have the cream". "But, I want a lollipop, mommie" Mommie says "Okie, you can have it but first finish your milk" [With the hope that she will forget it as the night proceeds]. After an hour "Mommie, now can I have my lollipop!![No matter how many nicer things come along, there are things that we cannot and should not compromise on. Or sometimes, we wish to have things that we cannot have. Or sometimes, no matter how much time passes, you dont forget things] Some questions have no answers: As soon as I used to go home, she would be on my lap. Mausi, just play with me. We played for a while. "Okie, baby, Mausi is tired. "But I am not tired". Again play for half hour. "I am tired"..the kid again says "But I am not tired" Take her on my shoulders and to her room. The kid now says "I will ask mommie to do it for me. "But, mommie can't do it, mommie has a baby". The kid says "So, why don't you have a baby":O:O [There is no point in explaining answers to someone who would probably never get it. Just smile away] A girl is aware of the concept of "Prince Charmin"even in formative years: This one is ultimate. Yesterday, she took me to her playhouse. She had two dolls. One girl whom she calls (Cinderella) and the other is (Prince Charming). So I ask her "So you call her Cinderella, do you know Cinderella story"? She says "Yes, I do" Me: Then tell me the story She: No, you tell me Me:I dont know the story. She: My mommie knows it. My daddy knows it. I know it. You don't know it??[With a puzzled look] I was zapped! [There are certain things that everyone is SUPPOSED to know] She still goes ahead and tells me the story handing the Prince Charmin (PC) in my hands and Cinderella lies with her. She gives instructions that they both should dance now. She: Ask PC to ask for Cindy's hands Me: Why are they supposed to hold hands?? She: Coz they are dancing Me:WOW. And why can't Cindy ask for PC's hands?? She: Coz she is a girl. Me:Double WOW!OK! And who is PC? She of course! was not able to answer it. But, out of so many toys she just calls him as PC. [A girl may not always know how her PC will be and why she calls him as PC. But, she knows who cannot be her PC] Kids give you an aswer that triggers a conncetion somewhere. Age sometimes doesnt matter:)

Sandese aate hain

The Saturday rocked! Plenty of things came to my mind. Insights. Plannings. One of my friends came back from Bombay last night. As usual, just when some of our friends go and return back, we are eagerly waiting for our goodies. No matter even if it is a small rubber band packet. We look at the bags with eagle eyes!! So, this time again my sis sent me some stuff and the more I think about it..the more silent tears I shed. She doesn't miss an opportunity to make me feel special. Be it this 1. Magnet: Which I specifically asked my Jeeju to bring for me from Germany.His remembering to bring it for me and my sis sending it to me is certainly special. The reason being; My sis is a die hard fan of Hitler! No not coz of his deeds but coz of his impressive personality. She ended up reading a lot more about Hitler's Germany and we would have heated discussions about that when we were growing up. This was almost 10 years back when I expressed that, if at all someone went to germany, I would ask them to get a magnet for me. I forgot about it 10 years down the line but she did not! When we used to fight, I addressed her as 'Lady Hilter" 2. Letters: Yep! each time she sends something for me through someone, she writes pages and pages of letters. As if words are flowing naturally. She does not express that much on the phone or email as much as she does with a pen in her hand! While, I was in US at the time she was pregnant, it was almost like I was experiencing it coz of the way she narrated each incidence of her pregnancy in her letters. I even have letters that mentions about the first time Aryan kicked her inside her stomach, or the first time she experienced his movement! No wonder I almost feel like I am Aryan's second mother. These letters serve as vent for me to cry just when I think I have no reason to cry! 3. These Clothes: No amount of shopping beats the joy that I derive out of the awesome Salwar kameezes that my sis picks for me. Trendy and pretty. Those 2-3 dresses that she sends for me makes up for the entire years shopping.I just have to demand and she finds the exact color and exact size for me! And She is the only one who knows what looks good on me. 4. Lastly, this calendar with my city's name on it! That makes me feel at home. Each year she makes sure to send me a marathi calendar. Not that I follow it diligently, but since its important for me to know certain days for some rituals that are not available on english calendars. No wonder how far I fly, my sis will make sure that I dont fly too high:) Lastly, watched Rang De Basanti! Details, hopefully in the next post! As of now..me happy to have people who care:)

Its just a name

Ha! Sayesha we both rock yaar. Had this post written in bits and pieces in my draft folders and is ready to be posted now! My cousin is pregnant and just like any othe pregnancy, deciding a name is the most exciting part. Naah! dont worry me not writing a letter to the boy, Sayesha:P So, basically everyone in my cousins's house has a name starting with the letter "Sh" In fact, even her bhabhi's have their names beginning with Sh.. She is going to be a mother of a baby boy and we were thinking of coming up with names that are not complicated and are modern. Aryan is already taken by my nephew:P So there arent many nice names around:)) Ok..there are a few... So well, I have this notion that just like various gift options, even when it comes to names you have far more varities for baby girls. For example: If you want something really traditional, a girl can have a name "Aishwarya" which is sooooo common in India.. Want to make it sound modern-n comes Ash and if you want that to be more family-oriented..everyone will start calling her "Aishu" In America, I know 3 girls whose names are "Esha" or "Isha" all of them play with each other and it gets confusing when they are together. So I call them Isha 1, 2 and 3 Third most common name being "Riya" or "Ria" Neverthless, girl names are still more interesting..Ok guys! am sorry but accept it...girls always have more options:P So I tried to ask my "Chatur chaar" as to what names they can come up with. Hahaha..only Vikram can come up with a name like "Speilberg", "Rafasti Gulfut", And only Virdi can come up with names such as "Chima Lal Charlie" but he also suggested a name "Akhilesh" Overall, Sayesha had good names to come up with, like "Ujwal, Eshan and Pranav" And I know three people with that name. Waise, I had few suggestions too. Names that sound modern and which are easy on american tongues as well and are not very common. In anyways if you keep a centimeter length name it gets abbreviated. Rohit, Rahul, Anand are quite common and short n sweet too. But, kinda overused in Bollywood. Nikhil, Aditya and Amit are extremely common marathi names. Neel being one.But my son is going to be called "Neel" if and when and whether I have a guy child is beyond discussion over here:D Then comes "Pradyot", "Aarush" and "Ayush" Ya, they would say "Whats in a name"? But isnt your name your "identity"? And I am still hoping to come across a name which we can possibly address the little one as. Any suggestions??